Dear Lisi: I read your column about the grandchildren who don’t say thank you (Feb. 24), and I want to know, what happened to saying “you’re welcome?”
Time and again my “thank you” addressed to a store clerk, a bank teller, a service provider is met with a “no problem.”
No problem?! Of course, it’s no problem. You’re doing the job you are being paid to do. I don’t see how asking you to perform that job should have presented you with a problem. If that’s how so many respond to an expression of my appreciation, should I be saving my breath for someone who understands the meaning and significance of “you’re welcome?”
In my mid-70s, I understand that time does not stand still. Language evolves. I just don’t understand why common courtesy appears to be fading away.
Outraged Senior
I agree with you that common courtesy seems to be fading away. However, I think you need to understand that “no problem” actually means “you’re welcome.” And it’s commonly used in other languages as well, for example, “de rien” is an acceptable response to “merci.”
If you lived in Australia, you would hear “no worries” as a common response to thank you.
Talk to your grandchildren, or great-nephews and nieces, and ask them what the current lingo is. You’ll be amazed!
Dear Lisi: I’m in a situation and I don’t know what to do. This girl in my grade really likes me. We’re good friends and I tried to like her, but I just don’t have those kinds of feelings for her. She knows because I’m not making any moves on her and we’re still hanging out.
The problem is that I really like her older sister. And I think she likes me too. We have a lot in common and seem to be on every committee/club together at school. But it’s awkward because she’s older and she knows how upset her sister will be if we get together.
What do I do?
Sisters Confusion
You’re very young to be caught up in a love triangle. And since you’re so young, everything feels so intense and immediate. But years down the road, none of it will matter. I tell you this not to dismiss your issue but to try to give you some perspective.
My advice would be not to get involved with the older sister right now. You’ll both hurt the younger sister’s feelings, and it won’t be worth it. If you and the older sister are meant to be, you’ll find each other again at a later date.
FEEDBACK regarding the man who never leaves the house (Feb. 24):
Reader — “Something is not adding up here. Apparently, the woman is not working as she speaks of being with the children before and after school, as well as during lunch for two hours. She makes lunch for the children and begrudges making it for her husband as she is “not a restaurant or a waitress.” Her comment about her husband “jumping in on the lunchtime activity” is puzzling. Are they not his children as well?
“She wants him out so she can have privacy, but it seems that he is in his “independent home office where he can shut himself off,” which leaves her with the kitchen, bedroom, communal space and whatever other rooms there might be. Why does she not take advantage of this space while her husband works, or go for a walk herself?
Lisi – We cannot assume whether the woman is working or not. She doesn’t say but could easily work from home.
The two-hour lunch situation was during the lockdown days of the pandemic. Many parents were forced to figure out how to work from home, while helping their children navigate online learning, and make them lunch when it was their lunchtime. I can understand why making lunch for her husband was a problem.
I still think this man needs some professional help if he’s not leaving the house at all, ever.
Ellie Tesher and Lisi Tesher are advice columnists based in Toronto. Send your relationship questions to [email protected] or [email protected]
